Wednesday Wisdom [Framework to Growing Up Pt. 2] - Comparison

6:00 AM flaneur 1 Comments

Comparison is the thief of joy. That's what they say, isn't it?
Maybe I'm wrong but why is it that comparing ourselves has taken such a big part of our lives?
It's weird because there is this massiv community of people telling us to feel comfortable within our lives and ourselves yet I feel like the urge to compare has rarely been bigger. 
I've read somewhere that the way magazines and media work towards women is pretty much this: 
50 % of love yourself and learn to accept your flaws - you are amazing. 
50 % how to get better abs, slimmer thighs, a bigger booty and step-by-steps on altering your faceshape with contouring.
I am really not trying to point a finger at anything because it would be unfrank to put me on an outside position on this. 
To be honest, I feel like the more I think about it all the more I am urged to take part in it. Or maybe because the more I feel urged to take part the more I think about it. 
I really don't know. All I know is that it doesn't seem all to healthy to me. 

Why not blame it on the media?
It's a coin with two sides, though, isn't it? For once I love how everybody can build a brand from scratch with a good idea and the help of the internet. I love how we get to see people like you and me chase their dreams with hard work and creativity. Everybody can be their own rockstar, editor, illustrator, movie-maker and beauty guru if they put enough effort in it. The modern American Dream. 
On the other hand, we get so confused. Well, at least I get sometimes. There is this outburst of successful, beautiful and determined people running their lives and doing all these amazing things and then sharing it with everyone who wants to see it. We see In'n'Out Burger feasts, pretty pastel icecream cones and glittery cupcakes. We also see super skinny, super fit, super beautiful and super self-confident people. But then again we also see people taking great care about their bodies preaching a million different dietary ways to cleanse your body from all the evil you have put in it throughout your happy, compareless years. And then again there is this huge jetset lifestyle that all of a sudden everybody takes part in but me and you. I wanna go to Firenze and New York, too, every other week. 

It's all as bad as we let it get, though.
I like to look at it like this: We can choose what it is that we take from it. Grieve and envy or inspiration and incentive. I like to go for the latter. I've heard so many people say that happiness is a choice that I guess I've started to believe it. I love people who grant other people their success and happiness. And frankly, why wouldn't we do so? I've never seen anybody getting happy from envying other people. 
I really can't tell what it is that make people go the one way or the other, but I can certainly say the second one is a way better choice. 

After all, the only thing that grieve and envy really constitue is that we are unhappy with our current state. And the only way to become happy again is to move on to a point in life where we can be and leave grieve and envy behind. Ranting on other peoples success isn't going to change anything (apart from making one feel even more horrible and coming across super dislikable).
The choices I've been trying to make lately is to concentrate on my happiness. Of course I can take inspiration from other peoples successes and lives but I'm an entirely different person after all. Of course everyone is unhappy with themselves every once in a while, even your Instagram ideal is. But guess what, being not okay is okay, too. 

Here is the answer to all your problems: Love. Self-love, to be precise. 
And if you think that's a way too simple concept, try it! And be happy about the convenience! It should be a lot easier than tranforming yourself into another person. 

1 comment:

  1. Really great post!! Love!!

    xx Olivia